Last week one of my close friends asked a question that i thought was worth talking about. He asked me how to overcome fears that pop up sometimes - even if things are going great.
The truth is it is not an easy question to reply to as it varies from person to person. There are actually entire books which have been written on that subject alone. However, one of the best techniques I have used to overcome my fears generally involves lowering the gradient.
What are gradients? Gradients are like steps on a ladder. If you try to go to the top of the ladder on your first step, it will probably be impossible and you will not succeed. If you keep trying it over and over you may start building up a "complex" regarding failing, and soon not try anymore.
If you try to jump up five or six steps on your first attempt, it will also be scary - not really impossible but scary. Probability is that if you have no experiences jumping that high you will fail too.
The proper approach is to take the first step and then advance one-step at a time. It is the most comfortable way to climb a ladder.
Here are a few examples of how I apply that to overcome fears which pop up in meeting women and dating women:
As most guys do, I often go out to meet women in a social setting. This can be especially frightening. So when I am approaching a beautiful woman in a party, rather than telling her how gorgeous she is and how much I am attracted to her (which exposes my fear of being shot down in front of a lot of people and embarrassed) I lower the gradient of approach and just say "Hi." If a girl likes you or is interested in you she will find a way to carry on the conversation. If she doesn't then i know she has no interest in me and the simple "Hi" just appears that I am friendly - not necessarily even flirting - so I don't feel shot down in front of other people.
If I am starting to date a woman and I feel fearful taking the next step of trying to get intimate with her, I don't ask her "Do you want to get intimate?" I take a lower gradient and ask her if she would like to relax, get cozy, and just watch a movie at my house. If she doesn't want to get intimate she certainly won't want to be alone with me, getting cozy at my home. Or rather than trying to suddenly "kiss her", I will simply hold her hand or give her light touches every now and then to find out how responsive she is to my touch. If she likes my touch she will begin touching me back to give me the go ahead signal.
These are some examples. When you feel uneasy and fearful just try to think of a lower gradient which isn't as scary and lets you make forward progress toward your goal. If you do this you will learn how to meet women and how to connect with them very quickly.
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The truth is it is not an easy question to reply to as it varies from person to person. There are actually entire books which have been written on that subject alone. However, one of the best techniques I have used to overcome my fears generally involves lowering the gradient.
What are gradients? Gradients are like steps on a ladder. If you try to go to the top of the ladder on your first step, it will probably be impossible and you will not succeed. If you keep trying it over and over you may start building up a "complex" regarding failing, and soon not try anymore.
If you try to jump up five or six steps on your first attempt, it will also be scary - not really impossible but scary. Probability is that if you have no experiences jumping that high you will fail too.
The proper approach is to take the first step and then advance one-step at a time. It is the most comfortable way to climb a ladder.
Here are a few examples of how I apply that to overcome fears which pop up in meeting women and dating women:
As most guys do, I often go out to meet women in a social setting. This can be especially frightening. So when I am approaching a beautiful woman in a party, rather than telling her how gorgeous she is and how much I am attracted to her (which exposes my fear of being shot down in front of a lot of people and embarrassed) I lower the gradient of approach and just say "Hi." If a girl likes you or is interested in you she will find a way to carry on the conversation. If she doesn't then i know she has no interest in me and the simple "Hi" just appears that I am friendly - not necessarily even flirting - so I don't feel shot down in front of other people.
If I am starting to date a woman and I feel fearful taking the next step of trying to get intimate with her, I don't ask her "Do you want to get intimate?" I take a lower gradient and ask her if she would like to relax, get cozy, and just watch a movie at my house. If she doesn't want to get intimate she certainly won't want to be alone with me, getting cozy at my home. Or rather than trying to suddenly "kiss her", I will simply hold her hand or give her light touches every now and then to find out how responsive she is to my touch. If she likes my touch she will begin touching me back to give me the go ahead signal.
These are some examples. When you feel uneasy and fearful just try to think of a lower gradient which isn't as scary and lets you make forward progress toward your goal. If you do this you will learn how to meet women and how to connect with them very quickly.
Meeting A Woman For The Very First Time: Are You In Relationship With Somebody?
How to find out if a woman is in a relationship when you first meet a woman without awkwardly asking her right off the bat - and how to smoothly ask if she is in a relationship.
The Real Scam Rating Of David Deanglo And Ross Jeffries
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Just the idea of a perfect first date can throw us into a panic mode, as we put so much stress on ourselves. The fear of rejection is strong in most of us...
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You know, guys ask me about "meeting women " and "how to meet women " and other such topics all the time .
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With the explosion of singles online dating sites has come a virtual smorgasbord of choices. There are free online dating sites, I don't recommend those but if money is a real concern, they are better than nothing.
Get Back Your Ex-Girlfriend As A Result Of Becoming Less Available And An Increased Challenge To Her
One of the most educational things you can ever do is to talk with your ex-girlfriend's closest friends to see what she was like in the earliest days of your relationship. Almost always her friends will tell you that almost all she could think about was how to make you hers.
The Real Truth Regarding Neil Strauss And What You Need To Know About The Game
Neil may be the most famous of all of these Dating Advice Guru's and his historical New York Times best seller "The Game" certainly was no scam. However, I tested his ideas and they are out of date.
First Dates: What To Avoid, If You Wish To Catch The Attention Of Women. - A Wonderful Guide For More Information
Attracting women - How to avoid making mistakes guys make on the first date that prevents ever getting a second date or developing a sexual relationship.
Romantic Weekend Breaks - Excellent Ideas
Romantic breaks are good for us after the stress of the work week, but they do not need to be expensive, do not have to involve travel, and do not have to last the whole weekend, although if you can manage the time, it'll probably be good for you.
What Are The Odds Of Discovering Mr. Right Over The Internet?
The odds of finding your "soul-mate" online are a lot better than you may think. It doesn't happen for everyone, of course, but it can happen for you. The world of internet or online dating has exploded over the last few years.
Ways To Pick Up Women - Mixed Indications And Flirting
How to successfully handle a woman who is sending confusing flirtations - and how to spot a woman who is flirting just for fun.
Honesty Absolutely Is The Best Policy - A Short Explanation Concerning This Moral
When creating a profile for online dating sites or when talking with women BE HONEST! They will find out, you will look foolish and possibly lose out on a relationship.
Is Mystery A Scam? Is The Mystery Method A Scam?
If you simply want to be a pick up artist, then Mystery' system will work, although you will probably find that Mr. L. Rx's system works for PUA's even better and that you might end up with the kind of a woman you want if you go with Mr. L. Rx's system.
